Varundaeris Tor'kalandara-Dawnrider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
daddyissuesdrow) wrote2018-02-25 08:31 pm
daddyissuesdrow) wrote2018-02-25 08:31 pm
Writing down the voices, because that's not insane at all.
[During the return trip from the temple, Varis has been dealing with Portia's creepy magic book whispering to him like a creepy thing. For some reason he's decided that the best way to cope with it is to write the creepy shit down?
Nobody said that all of his ideas were good ones. A lot of voices he can't recognize. Most of them he recognizes as targets of his assassinations, and others are friends and family. It's kinda fucked up.]
"It's under my skin. Oh god, it's under my skin!" - Ian (probably not spiders)
"Please, wait! Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it! Triple it!" - Gashod Rockridge, Neverwinter
"My husband! That was my husband! How could you!?" - Carric Lendaeon, Everlund
"That's what she said." - Okay this was like 12 different voices
"YOU THREW MY DOG IN THE FIRE!" - ???
"There's no one else I can turn to for help, there's no one I can trust, there's no one..." - Bowen?
"I suppose I had this coming." - Nasha Grumorgg, also Everlund
(Angry dwarvish ranting) - Slab Stonerod, Sundabar, after being set on fire, if I remember right
"They're dead! They're all-"(screaming, lots of it) - Marcus Burnbush, and the like 100 people I accidentally set on fire in Luskan
"Oh fuck, his face! What's wrong with his face!?" - ???
(sound of dog whining?) - Don't do dog noises at me oh God
"Don't worry, I can get out of this acid pool on my own, I have magic powers." (death gurgling, I think.) - ??? I don't know who this is, and I feel bad for laughing.
"It's on the floor. Oh God, it's all over the floor, I can't- Where is he?" - Banzer Tor'kalandara, Byrdaesi
"They don't understand. They'll never understand! Don't let them in!" - ???
"Get out of my swamp!" - Nin? No, that can't be right.
"Do you really think you can kill me?" - General Crud Punchman, seconds before I stabbed him in the throat. That was a good one.
"Help, please help me! Why won't you do something!?" - ???
"Open it. Just open it. What are you waiting for?" - I'm onto you, bookfuck
"FUCK" - Was that me? Is that my voice? Is that really what I sound like? Good God.
(Long string of magitech babble what the fuck does this mean) - So that sounded like Velo but I'm pretty sure half of my brain cells died while it was talking?
"You idiots! You've ruined everything! " - That one guy I killed in Rothe Valley that one time
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." - ??? a bigger badass than me, probably
"We were children when my best friend disappeared. The adults said he was dead, but I never believed it. I was too young to look for him but I should have gone anyway." - Nin
"Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me-" - Erevan Dawnrider, prick
"Don't be a moron, there's no way the floor is lav- (screaming) - ??? I guess the floor was lava after all?
"Don't hurt me! Please, don't hurt me! I haven't done anything wrong, I swear!" - Captain Ed Duckson, after doing something wrong, and before dying for it.
"FUCK" - Okay that time it was Ian.
"If I could drop these losers and go back home, I'd do it in a heartbeat." - Nin again, being uncool?
"This fight reminds me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!" - ???
"Your name, what's your name, mister? Come on, let me in. He's here, don't you want to meet him?" - ??? creepy child's voice or gnome?? Have I killed any gnomes?
"Stop them, stop them! Don't let them get me!" - Lord Nathan Farfigschitter, Neverwinter, right before we got him
(More angry dwarven yelling) - ???
"There were so many teeth, too many teeth..!" - Davon
"We're going the wrong way! Stop, we're going the wrong way!" - ???
"Down the well, just throw him down the well. Who's gonna look down there?"- ???
"If it can't walk, maybe it can fly? Do we have any rockets left?" - Velo, quickly becoming my favorite
"I didn't mean for this to happen. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Can you forgive me?" - ???
"I should have killed that asshole when I had the chance." - Nin, having no chill?
"You traitor! You stupid little boy! I'll feed you to the spiders for this!" - Nathrae Tlin’orzza, Mantol-Derith
(spider noises) - Tlin’orzza's spiders? Sure, why not.
"Kid, come with me. Now. I'll get you somewhere safe" - Ian again, holy shit just fucking stop
"It was you, I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you!" - This book has no chill! Calm down!
(Horrible heart wrenching sobbing????) - Holy fuck this one sounded like Naeris don't fucking do this to me BOOK.
"My son! Look what you've done to my son!" - Quaraelya Tor'kalanara, Byrdaesi
"HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - STEVE?
"There is no chaos, only disorder. Everything has a cause, and causes can be found, discovered, and manipulated. There is no chaos, only control. I must not lose control. I must not lose control. I must not lose-" - Velo saying normal Velo stuff I guess?
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Gorudak The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Gorudak was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself." - Excuse me book what the fuck are you doing WHY DID I WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN WHAT IS A JEDI WHAT IS GORUDAK???
(Sound of man puking) - Why
(Sound of same puking man, only this time yelling in Drunk) - Oh that guy from Drodon that's right
"Yo kid open the book, there's tiddies in here." - So that just happened
fuck
Nobody said that all of his ideas were good ones. A lot of voices he can't recognize. Most of them he recognizes as targets of his assassinations, and others are friends and family. It's kinda fucked up.]
"It's under my skin. Oh god, it's under my skin!" - Ian (probably not spiders)
"Please, wait! Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it! Triple it!" - Gashod Rockridge, Neverwinter
"My husband! That was my husband! How could you!?" - Carric Lendaeon, Everlund
"That's what she said." - Okay this was like 12 different voices
"YOU THREW MY DOG IN THE FIRE!" - ???
"There's no one else I can turn to for help, there's no one I can trust, there's no one..." - Bowen?
"I suppose I had this coming." - Nasha Grumorgg, also Everlund
(Angry dwarvish ranting) - Slab Stonerod, Sundabar, after being set on fire, if I remember right
"They're dead! They're all-"(screaming, lots of it) - Marcus Burnbush, and the like 100 people I accidentally set on fire in Luskan
"Oh fuck, his face! What's wrong with his face!?" - ???
(sound of dog whining?) - Don't do dog noises at me oh God
"Don't worry, I can get out of this acid pool on my own, I have magic powers." (death gurgling, I think.) - ??? I don't know who this is, and I feel bad for laughing.
"It's on the floor. Oh God, it's all over the floor, I can't- Where is he?" - Banzer Tor'kalandara, Byrdaesi
"They don't understand. They'll never understand! Don't let them in!" - ???
"Get out of my swamp!" - Nin? No, that can't be right.
"Do you really think you can kill me?" - General Crud Punchman, seconds before I stabbed him in the throat. That was a good one.
"Help, please help me! Why won't you do something!?" - ???
"Open it. Just open it. What are you waiting for?" - I'm onto you, bookfuck
"FUCK" - Was that me? Is that my voice? Is that really what I sound like? Good God.
(Long string of magitech babble what the fuck does this mean) - So that sounded like Velo but I'm pretty sure half of my brain cells died while it was talking?
"You idiots! You've ruined everything! " - That one guy I killed in Rothe Valley that one time
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." - ??? a bigger badass than me, probably
"We were children when my best friend disappeared. The adults said he was dead, but I never believed it. I was too young to look for him but I should have gone anyway." - Nin
"Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me-" - Erevan Dawnrider, prick
"Don't be a moron, there's no way the floor is lav- (screaming) - ??? I guess the floor was lava after all?
"Don't hurt me! Please, don't hurt me! I haven't done anything wrong, I swear!" - Captain Ed Duckson, after doing something wrong, and before dying for it.
"FUCK" - Okay that time it was Ian.
"If I could drop these losers and go back home, I'd do it in a heartbeat." - Nin again, being uncool?
"This fight reminds me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!" - ???
"Your name, what's your name, mister? Come on, let me in. He's here, don't you want to meet him?" - ??? creepy child's voice or gnome?? Have I killed any gnomes?
"Stop them, stop them! Don't let them get me!" - Lord Nathan Farfigschitter, Neverwinter, right before we got him
(More angry dwarven yelling) - ???
"There were so many teeth, too many teeth..!" - Davon
"We're going the wrong way! Stop, we're going the wrong way!" - ???
"Down the well, just throw him down the well. Who's gonna look down there?"- ???
"If it can't walk, maybe it can fly? Do we have any rockets left?" - Velo, quickly becoming my favorite
"I didn't mean for this to happen. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Can you forgive me?" - ???
"I should have killed that asshole when I had the chance." - Nin, having no chill?
"You traitor! You stupid little boy! I'll feed you to the spiders for this!" - Nathrae Tlin’orzza, Mantol-Derith
(spider noises) - Tlin’orzza's spiders? Sure, why not.
"Kid, come with me. Now. I'll get you somewhere safe" - Ian again, holy shit just fucking stop
"It was you, I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you!" - This book has no chill! Calm down!
(Horrible heart wrenching sobbing????) - Holy fuck this one sounded like Naeris don't fucking do this to me BOOK.
"My son! Look what you've done to my son!" - Quaraelya Tor'kalanara, Byrdaesi
"HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - STEVE?
"There is no chaos, only disorder. Everything has a cause, and causes can be found, discovered, and manipulated. There is no chaos, only control. I must not lose control. I must not lose control. I must not lose-" - Velo saying normal Velo stuff I guess?
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Gorudak The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Gorudak was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself." - Excuse me book what the fuck are you doing WHY DID I WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN WHAT IS A JEDI WHAT IS GORUDAK???
(Sound of man puking) - Why
(Sound of same puking man, only this time yelling in Drunk) - Oh that guy from Drodon that's right
"Yo kid open the book, there's tiddies in here." - So that just happened
fuck